“One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important and that to take a holiday would bring all kinds of disaster. If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.” [Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness (New York: Liveright Books, 1971), p. 61.]
We just wrapped up our Sicilian tour and returned to home base. It’s been an intense week of driving, sleeping, eating, performing, up and about, on the road, in the air. At the end I’ve returned just about exhausted. As a matter of fact, I spent a whole day in bed on Friday and today I was already rehearsing the show with an actor who, in theory, should replace ME.
I’ve basically reached the point where I have to accept I just can’t be everywhere at any time. It feels bizarre at first being replaced by another person, but I’m looking at the whole thing as a chance to grow, in a very spiritual sense. Your biggest enemy is your ego and seeing somebody else taking your role makes you realize your not irreplaceable.
Unfortunately, at times it seems the company machine just can’t stop. Sunday we will be on the road again for a whole week and there is sooooooo much stuff to do before we leave. That’s when anxiety surges… for it is unfinished work that triggers it. But is it important at all? Aren’t we after all the stuff dreams are made of?
So today I’m just taking a holiday from myself.
I’ll get rid of the tentacles surrounding my mind and lock the octopus of problems and daily task in the cage until tomorrow. He can wait for a day…after all, he’s a patient slimy beast.
Have a great weekend everyone.